LEARN TO SAY " NO "

Be confident, straight forward, courageous and never hesitate to say 'NO' when it is so demanded by situation. Your slight courage in saying 'NO' can sometimes save you from unpleasantness of the whole life time. Have your independent personality which should stand like a rock amidst even severe opposition if you are right. Also have the courage to raise your voice against any injustice or wrong being done. If you want to become great and unique, you will have to be different from the rest of the crowd. However being straight forward shouldn't be confused with being arrogant. It is possible to be straightforward while still remaining polite and respectful. If possible, you can also explain the reasons to the other party for saying 'NO' .

Some people say that by saying 'NO' other person may feel annoyed and displeased, but, remember that your purpose in this life is not to please others. Your aim is self development. Pleasure and displeasure of another person depends more of his own mentality rather than on what you say. For example, if a person is of negative mentality, he will view everything negatively no matter what you say or do.

ALWAYS REMAIN OPTIMISTIC

No matter how many failures you gave undergone in achieving a task, still remain optimistic, about your success. Remember there is no force on earth or in heaven which can prevent you from achieving what you want to achieve provided you are determined for a right cause. The requirement is only a determined mind with firm faith in God.

Also remember that not even the slightest effort ever made by you goes in vain. This is the law of the nature. Various efforts, pains, discomforts borne by you now will definitely bring fruits later or sooner.

So even when things seem worst, don't quit and stick to the fight. You never know how close you are and you might succeed with another blow. The quotation: 'In your failure lies the secret of you success' has been very thoughtfully written. Success/Failure, Pleasure/Pain, Night/Day e.t.c. are the two faces of the same coin and one can't be separated from the other. So where there is one, another is bound to be there as per natural laws. There is no need to be upset on account of this.

ELIMINATE EGO AND DOORSHIP FEELING

In all the works or things you do, have the attitude that it is God's work and you are doing it under His guidance as a servant. He is the actual doer. You are simply a medium or an instrument in His hands. After completion of the work, again surrender it to God with reverence and humility. Never develop ego that it is you who could do this work and so you now expect admiration and reward for this. Because it is a fact of life that you, on your own, can't really do anything unless supported by God because of so many uncertainties associated with everything.

Also eliminate the ego of name, fame, property, wealth, family e.t.c. because all these things are transient and will vanish some day. They have been given to you temporarily by the grace of God. Ego is a veil which doesn't allow you to come near to God. As soon as ego dissolves, you come face to face with God.

AVOID MAKING REMARKS / COMMENTS / ADVICE TO OTHERS

Concentrate only on your progress in life. Don't waste time in bothering and interfering n what others are doing. Also avoid making remarks, comments and finding faults about other's works because you are still not fit to do that. Only a person who has achieved perfection is fit to make a remark or comment upon others.

Some people are in the habit of giving unnecessary advice to everyone whether asked for or not. Here also, you should give advice only when asked for and if you are not acquainted with the matter, apologize instead of giving wrong advice. Similarly, any preaching which you want to give for the benefit of others, it is better to impart that from your behaviour rather than from words. Then it will have more weight age and force. Also remember that you can't mend any person against his own will.

If you are in a managerial position where you have to get the work done from your subordinates, it is inevitable for you to make comments/remarks/ advice about their works, but, again it should be made in the spirit of suggestion and no attitude of ego and domination should be involved.

CONCENTRATION

As physical exercise strengthen the body, concentration increases the strength of mind. Strong mind is not easily affected or disturbed by trials and tribulations of life. For improving concentration whatever activity we may be engaged in,we should try to be totally absorbed in it, however trivial it may be. At that time, except this activity the whole world should be dead for us. For example, even if we are eating a fruit at a moment, we should completely relish each morsel of fruit with our attention totally dedicated to it. If we are bathing , we should relish this activity fully, deriving maximum benefit from it by keeping our attention totally anchored to it. If you are reading a book, be totally absorbed in it for that time oblivious of any other thing. You should also learn to concentrate on uninteresting things also to develop real control of mind. Concentration in other words, means to learn to remain in the present moment which is the most desirable feature for success and happiness in life.

PLANNED THINKING

Ensure at various intervals that your thinking is planned and systematic and not haphazard and random. Unplanned random thinking , day dreaming is a sign of weak mind and indicates that instead of controlling your subconscious mind. You are being controlled it. Your conscious mind should remain fully active, in full awareness and maintain its master status controlling it servant.By going into passive, idle and day dreaming state, you encourage the influence of subconscious mind over your conscious mind. So ensure that only those thoughts in your mind which you really want to have at that moment. It has been noted in a survey that a sizable portion of one's life time is spent in wasteful thinking. This can be easily channeled for performing useful activities

POSITIVE THINKING

We give the least importance to this most important aspect of our life i.e. how we think. It is the single largest factor in building up of our personality and character. Develop the habit of viewing everything positively, even the most miserable situations. Negative thinking weakens the mind., makes it restless, agitated and impure. Convert every negative situation into positive one by readjusting your mental attitude. To quote an example as to how it should be done, suppose, someone abuses you or makes undesirable remarks in anger, then instead of feeling bad about him, just think that his mood is upset or he develop any malice against him. This is positive attitude. By having positive thinking, you will also to yourself favour able physical conditions and environment because by the law of psychic attraction, you attract physical condition and circumstances towards you according to your thoughts. For example, suppose you repeatedly develop a fearful thought that you may catch a particular disease start occurring in you. Such is the power of thoughts. They are as real as a solid stone. By remaining positive, you create an aura of positive vibrations around you which not only benefit you, but, all others coming into contact with you. This aura also protects you from the attack of any negativity released by others.

DON'T WASTE TIME

Normally it is seen that although we are running around here & there a lot, but without any concrete output. In short, we are simply dissipating our energy. Life is short and very precious. Timing is running very fast. Every moment we are coming closer to death. It can fall at any moment without any notice. Hence, don't waste any time here. We have to achieve maximum in this minimum time. Ensure that each moment we are progressing onwards and not shifting backwards. Don't waste your time in useless thinking, gossips and loitering here and there. Time which has been lost by you is lost for ever and can't be regained by you by any means. Time, like any other commodity, can't be stored. Time not utilized is wasted for ever. There is a saying: Waste your money and you are only out of money, but, waste your time and you have lost a part of your life.' Hence, always be busy in some useful constructive

YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR DESTINY

To those people who always start cursing their luck while they face misfortunes. Please remember t hat you are hundred percent responsible for what you are in your life. You have made your destiny by your own hands. Your past has made your present. Your present will make your future. What you are experiencing today is the fruits of what you done in the past. Future is still in your hands if you are cautious enough to keep your present in order. Hence' never curse your luck for misfortunes, but face the reality boldly. Accepting self responsibility for your life and the realization that your thoughts, words and actions are the mould for shaping your future, can bring about a major change in your attitude towards life.

It is not necessary to revolve endlessly in the wheel of destiny like a galley slave. You have the power to come out of this wheel and control it instead of being controlled by it. As your level of consciousness rises, the hold of the destiny over you gets weakened. That is why spiritually enlightened persons are not afraid of destiny at all. They have the handle of the wheel of destiny in their hands by which they can change the fixed conditions.

BROODING OVER PAST AND WORRYING FOR FUTURE

Some people practically waste their whole lives on these two occupations. It is possible that you couldn't do what you should have done in the past. But to spoil the present because of that is also not wise. Similarly spoiling our present by worrying for future which we can't foresee right now, is also not wise to fact, by spoiling our present by the above two operations, we are deliberately spoiling our future also.

Please remember that present is the most important moment of your life. What matters most to you and to the world right now is what you are at present and not what you were or what you will be. Nobody is going to bother about your past problems and situations and is also not going to favour you in employment or in an examination. Just because you had so and so problems in the past. They are only interested in what you are at present . So take proper hold of your present. By taking control of the present we can not only lay a good foundation for our future , but, can even reduce the effect of past.

Past should beused only for learning some lessons from it sop that these mistakes are not repeated. Besides this there is no importance of past.

ACCEPT AND RECOGNISE YOUR WEAKNESS

Once you have recognised your weaknesses, you have already taken the first step in removing them. There should be no hesitation in accepting your weakness before others and there should be no attempt to hide them because it is natural for all human beings to have some or the other weaknesses and to commit mistakes.

What is important is that after recognizing your weakness, you should start making efforts to eradicate it. This is what makes us humane and distinct from animal species.

If you feel that by knowing your weaknesses other people will think low of you, then, remember that it is always better to be recognised less than what you actually are because then you don't have to strain every time to prove yourself up to other people's expectations. Moreover, as explained earlier, it is your own views about yourself which are more important. Learn to see yourself with your own eyes and not from other's eyes.

SELF-SATISFACTION BEFORE SATISFACTION OF OTHERS

Many people live a life style which is primarily aimed at impressing and satisfying others. They give more importance to what people think about them than what they about themselves. This is one of the main reasons for our frustrations in life. Please note that it is more important for you as to what you think about yourself than what others think. Your self analysis about you is much more important. Nobody knows you better than you yourself. Hence, don't get straightway carried away by the judgement or opinion of others about you whether it be your praise or criticism. Weigh them with your intellect and then accept only those remarks which you consider appropriate. Other people's judgement about you is not necessarily a correct one because it is according to their mental biases. Only an enlightened person who has remained very close to you can give a correct judgement about you.

Always be in your natural state with a simple and decent life style irrespective of what others think about you and don't try to artificially influence people.

DON'T REACT IMMEDIATELY WHEN PROVOKED

When ever you feel disturbed or restless due to some sudden problems or some irrelevant remarks or comments by somebody, avoid reacting immediately or coming under sudden provocation. Allow some time to pass and refrain from doing or saying anything as long as disturbance persists in your mind. It is best if you temporarily avoid the person or situation whom you consider the cause of your disturbance. Preferably go away from and cool down yourself and then examine coolly all pros and cons. You are most likely to understand better about the real problem in this state of mind. Under provocation, the reasoning power of the mind gets destroyed.

Give clarifications to opeople of your innocence onl;y when asked for. Don't force your innocence on people. Your voice in reply should always be polite, respectful and controlled. You should never behave in an uncontrolled fashion and not resort to shouting while replying, however wrong blame or criticism has been done to you.

DETACHMENT AND ABILITY TO LET GO

Along with concentration, we should also develop the ability to detach ourselves from any thing or task at a moment's notice. Some people can concentrate and absorb in a task, but, they find it difficult to forget this first activity completely while taking on to the next activity. They have some hangover period. This only shows that we get unduly attached towards various things which actually we should not.

Please note that the world is a great training school. The only importance of various worldly things and incidents is to give us necessary training and lessons for our growth. They themselves are not important as such. Hence, we should only use them for our learning and growth, but, not get overly attached to them and once the purpose is served by learning necessary lesson, we should forget and discard them.Concentration and detachment should be practised simultaneously. Ability to forget and detach from undesirable past is a great quality for achieving success in life. It is well said 'Though it is sometime useful to remember, but it is often wise to forget'.

CONTROL OVER IMPULSES, OBSERVE PATIENCE

In your daily liofe just don't follow your impulsesand start doing saying anything which ever comes to your mind. It is a sign of weak mind. Have some checks and controls on your mind and never become its slave. Be the master of your mind and sense. Let them work as your servant and they should not be allowed to cross their limits. Your in tellect in association with your conscience should maintain its superiority over these lower faculties. Whatever impulse or urge comesw in your mind, don't jump over it immediately. First examine it properly and then accordingly hold it for sometime or ignore it totally. By exercising patience in this manner your will-power and mental strength will increase gradually which is necessary prerequisite for a satisgying and contented life.
Power of a controlled mind increase in the same fashion as the power of water increases when it is controlled and channeled by constructing a dam.

DON'T HAVE INFERIORITY COMPLEX

Many people have inferiority complex that they can do certain things which others can. They don't have confidence in their caliber and capability. Please remember that ultimate potential of all of us is exactly the same. No one is any better or worse than us provided we can explore the potential of our mind though meditation and soul consciousness. The reason being that all souls are exactly same as far as their original attributes are concerned.There is not even an iota of difference. Hence never compare with others and neither feel inferior nor feel superior to anybody.
Have full confidence that whatever others can do, you can also do. It is only a question of awakening of your dormant mental facilities. IN fact, there is no problem which we can't solve by developing our mind fully and id we can put our developed mind always attuned to God, we can then even share the vast Powers of our God also.

OVER COME FEARS

Fears are a drain on our mental energy and are main stumbling blocks to our progress. By the law of attraction, whatever we fear or doubt, we actually attract those conditions and circumstances around use and so we are further trapped in a vicious circle. There are some people among us who constantly fear lest this or that should happen and thus keep their minds constantly in a state of agitation and turmoil.
Please remember there is nothing in this world which we really need to fear. Nothing is designed in the Universe to harm us. One of the best ways to remove fear is to intentionally face and stand before those very things you fear denying mentally that they can do any harm to you, till such time when the fear is totally gone. The causes of your fear leap on you again and again untill you overcome fear. It is law thatthe more you fear a thing, the more it frightens you. However if you don't fear the opposite happens i.e. the fear will go away from you. Also bear in mind this great truth that actual mishappening is never that fearful and painful as our thought or imagination of that happening.
Further, also gain strength by the knowledge that nothing happens by Chance or by accident. For every happening there is reason. Hence, why the fear of anything suddenly happening to you. Just face each challenge of life boldly with positive outlook and firm faith in God who only can provide the real security to us.

REDUCE EMOTIONAL INVOLVMENT, TAKE THINGS EASY

The root cause of our suffering in our emotional involvement while dealing with various incidents,situations and circumstances of life. We should watch and tackle all worldly objects and situations objectively like aspirator as if they are different and we are different and we only have a temporary association with them.
The cause of our emotional involvement with worldly things is that we are taking them too seriously which actually we should not. We should realise that no difficulties or problems are permanent.They all will pass. Such is the law. Everything is in a state of constant motion and change. Nothing is permanent and static here.
Taking things seriously also results in formation of deep impressions in your subconscious mind which results in development of various biases and prejudices in our mind in favour of and against various things and reduces its ability to see things objectively. IN other words, emotions of like,dislike,love ,hated,jealously,revenge,etc. should be gradually rooted out resulting in a truly unbiased and detached mind which can remain calm, serene and balanced in all the trials and odds of life.

SILENCE,SOLITUDE AND SELF-INTROSPECTION

Try to find some time daily when you are in solitude and in silence and devote this time solely for yourself. Try to do some self-introspection in this time as to in which areas you need improvements and strengthening. In which areas you are slipping. By this self analysis give necessary suggestion to yourself to improve.
Through silence you conserve mental energy. Always speak less, speak in low and sweet voice and to the point. Never talk too much and in high pitch. Avoid gossips,, unnecessary arguments and discussions. There should always be some aim when you talk. Aimless talking should always be avoided. Much physical and mental energy is wasted in useless discussion.